Uke

I've found that I love being chosen as uke for demonstration. Maybe it's an ego thing. It means that my instructors think that I've achieved some basic level of competence. There's a certain amount of uncertainty and anticipation that comes with not knowing what technique is coming next. You're told what attack you are supposed to execute and Sensei takes it from there. Your role is to provide a committed attack and then go with the flow.

Go with the flow. Nage is defending against your attack but you, as uke, are still in control of your response to that defensive move. Do aikido. Go with the flow. It's all a circle.

Also, it's just a heck of a lot of fun to get thrown around by someone who knows what they're doing.

:)

Thoughts on Reunions

Reunion: a reuniting of persons after separation
-Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary

The Joy of Hello:

Because my parents live so far away, we usually only see each other once a year, twice if we're lucky. I can't sleep much the night before they arrive here or we leave to go visit them, because I can't wait for the moment to arrive. Whether I'm waiting at the airport for them to come through customs or I'm sitting on the plane, whiling away the hours in the air, the anticipation just builds and builds and builds. And then, there we are, together again and the smiles on our faces could light up the whole arrival area. I see the same kinds of smiles shining on the faces of the people around me and I know that we are all feeling way: like there's a sun inside you making you feel all warm and happy and loved.


The Sadness of Goodbye:

Time flies by so quickly when we're together and before I know it, it's time to head to the airport again and time for my throat to constrict and the tears to start welling up in my eyes. I try really hard not to cry but if I see my mom starting to tear up too, that is the end. Sigh. I hate saying goodbye.

Resolution:

I need to accept that, until teleportation becomes reality, there's not much I can do about the distances that separate us. I need to learn to live in the now and just enjoy the moments that we do spend together, not dwell so much on the time that we are apart, to appreciate what we have and not think about what we do not.

This will be my goal when we head home for the holidays this Christmas. I will focus on hello and I won't say goodbye. I'll stick with the German 'Auf Wiedersehen,' which I like much better.

'Til we see each other again.

The Joys of Childhood and the Cold Weather

We're in Tahoe and there's wireless in the room. With a free moment, it's time to blog. Just a wee bit. Am I hooked on this or what?

The weather outside is gorgeous. The sky is blue, the sun is shining and it is 37 degrees F. Last night it got down below 30. Yowza! I can't remember the last time I've felt so cold. My last winter on the East Coast was in 2001. It's kind of invigorating.

The kids are having a blast. They've seen Santa, watched the tree lighting ceremony, gotten all kitted out for the cold in layers upon layers of clothes. They've been in the lovely, heated outdoor pool. ("I'm the greatest swimmer, Mama!" said my little P.) Their noses have gone all red with the cold and the teeth and chins have chattered.

Today we are going to take them snow tubing and then ride the cable car up to the top of the mountain! Yes, SNOW! They are so excited, and, because of that, we are too.

I'm getting dirty looks. (Why is she blogging?) Time to go.

Happy Run-niversary to Me

One year ago, on Thanksgiving Day, I put the turkey in the oven and decided that this was the day that I was going to start running.

Today, I went for an anniversary run to celebrate a year of running. In that year, I have gone from not being able to run more than a minute at a time to finishing a half-marathon in just over a two and a quarter hours. I've run in one 12K race, done one sprint triathlon and that half-marathon. I've lost about 15 pounds in that time and gotten my cholesterol levels down from scarily high to normal. I'm getting really close to breaking the nine-minute mile barrier.

Most of all, I've proven to myself that, if I put my mind to it, I can do something I didn't think I could before.

I can make time for myself.

I can conquer the Dish.

I can run 13.1 miles.

I can.

And I will keep going.

Today I Give Thanks

For:

• my children, who make me laugh and sigh, sing and cry, shout and scream with joy and frustration and who remind me that my capacity to love is boundless
  
• my husband, who makes me laugh at the beginning and the end of the day and is my partner as we navigate this path called life
  
• my parents, who are always there for me, even when I don't call them as often as I should
• my brother and the rest of my family, who remind me that I have roots in many countries and homes in all of them
  
• my friends, who round out my world and inspire me, whether I see them everyday or just a few times a year
• good health, mine and that of those that I love
• aikido and running and swimming and biking, because they get me out of my chair, away from my desk and keep my mind sane and my body healthy
• my job, because it continues to challenge me and bring me into contact with great people all over the world (and it helps pay the bills!)
  
• this blog, because through it, I've gotten back into writing again

For all these and more, I am truly thankful.

Sensei is 75 Today

Long may he live and continue to inspire and teach us the art and philosophy of aikido.

1. Harder and stronger is not always better.
2. Get out of the way of conflict.
3. Do not meet aggression head on. Blend and redirect.
4. Center yourself and move from your center.
5. Breathe.

He's a kind and generous man with his knowledge. I am lucky to learn from him.

The Leaky Faucet

I know I've written about what a sensitive boy my dear D is and how he can cry at the drop of the hat. Today, I realized that he probably gets this from ME! Didn't I just blog about crying at the end of a NOVA program? Then I realized that I _always_ cry when I watch sad movies, even when I've seen the sad scenes a dozen times and know that they're coming. Even certain moments in animated flicks will get a tear out of me. You know the scene in 'Cars' where Lightning McQueen stops short of the finish line, drives out to the infield and pushes The King, banged-up and broken, across the line? Yup, Sob City.

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

The Baking Season Has Begun

It's time to channel my inner Martha Stewart again. There's something about the chill in the morning air and it getting dark just past 5 pm and that lovely feeling of warmth when stepping inside the house when it's cold outside that makes me just want to fire up the oven and bake something.

On Monday, I tried to make cinnamon rolls for the first time ever. YUMMY! With the Internet at my disposal, I found a recipe that looked easy enough. D (who had Veterans' Day off) and I were as happy as clams mixing up the dough, rolling it out and punching it down. There's nothing quite like the smell of cooking or baking wafting through the house to really make it feel like a home. Aaaaaaaaaaah. The result? A big thumbs-up! I will be making these again.

For next week, I'm going to attempt my first ever pumpkin pie. I've been baking apple pies for years and I love them but I haven't quite conquered my fear/dislike of that traditional Thanksgiving dessert that M does love - the punkin pie. This is the one I'm going to make. Already, I'm hopeful because there is no clove (ick) in the recipe.

Then it will be time for Christmas cookies: peanut butter kiss cookies, oatmeal raisin, chocolate chip. All the more reason to keep running.

Now I'm hungry.

Time to go raid the fridge.

Progress

• katate tori shihonage
  
• yokomen uchi shihonage
  
• tsuki kotegaeshi
  
• ryote dori tenchinage
  
• suwariwaza ryote dori tenchinage
  

What do all these techniques have in common?

At the very end of class today, R Sensei called on me to get up in front of the class and, with CC as my uke, demonstrate them, one after the other. I had no idea I was going to be asked to do this.

I should have been petrified, but I wasn't. I recognized the words, knew what techniques they represented and did them. I didn't do them perfectly but I didn't hesitate either. It just felt good and natural and not scary. In fact, it was fun.

What a great way to break up my crazy-busy work day.

(And now, back to writing my talk for tomorrow...)

Stop the Clocks!

Forget about moving the clocks back one hour, can we please just stop them for about 48 hours so that I can catch up with all the stuff that I want to get done before the holidays?

I am NOT ready for the Christmas season. Jeepers! It seems that no sooner did the Halloween decor disappear from the stores that the Christmas supplies came out. Wasn't there supposed to be a break for Thanksgiving? Where's all the turkey and pilgrim paraphernalia? Walking into a Target store or a mall these days is enough to send me into a fit of panic.

1. Parent-teacher conference with D's teacher next week.

2. Bake pies for Thanksgiving. I'm probably safe doing this on Thanksgiving morning because I'm not cooking the whole meal this year. Will be experimenting with new recipe - should probably make tried and true pie#2 just in case all goes to hell.

3. Shop for M's birthday present. T minus two and a half weeks till the day. I know what to get, just need time to hunt it down and go buy it.

4. Get ready for 12K run. Today's Dish run just KILLED me. Running with a bunch of rabbits, er, new members of running group who are disgustingly fast, will do that to you. I haven't felt so humbled while running in a long time. Sigh.

5. Shop for Christmas presents. Must not forget teachers and little give-aways for extended family that we haven't seen in two years. Must be done early this year because of trip home that starts mid-December.

6. Have family Christmas picture taken. We won't be able to do this on Dec. 23rd like in years past because we'll be in another country! Why do I have visions of our addressing Christmas cards at the airport just like we did about 4 years ago?

7. Christmas cards!!! Forget about an annual letter, that's the stuff dreams are made of.

8. See list of to-do-things with about 200 items on it at work.

9. All the other things that I'll remember still need to be done. I'll be remembering them in the middle of the night and then I won't be able to get back to sleep.

Is it any surprise that I'm running around frazzled all day? Maybe I need to start meditating.

NO! No more new things.

--------------

At least not till the New Year.

And So I Begin Again

On Dec. 9th, M and I will be joining our first race together, a 12K trail run. On one hand, yipee - a chance to run together! On the other hand, ever since the half-marathon, I haven't felt great while running. It's as if the week that I took off while sick took not only the stamina but also the willpower out of me. The first two miles have always been the hardest for me and when the second one is going straight uphill, it's just about enough to make me whimper with frustration. I'd get going and just not want to keep going. If it weren't for my running friends, and my desire not to appear like a total wuss, I'd be down to running 25 minutes at a time.

So, today, I thought, let's just see if I can go for a nice, relaxed five miler. Don't try to set any land speed records, just try to get through it without stopping to walk. How I ever made it through 13.1 miles is really beyond me. I mean, I remember running the distance, I recall crossing the finish line and that bizarre feeling in my legs when I finally stopped. But since then, I haven't felt like I could push beyond 4 miles.

That was then, this is now.

As predicted, about 20 minutes into the run, I just wanted to go home. But the stubborn and persistent side of me took over and and kicked me in the behind. It was an out and back route, just the right thing for a negative split challenge. Miraculously, my legs finally hit their stride, as did my breathing. Bless those endorphins: I felt quite good on the way back. It helped that the final quarter-mile is downhill and I could focus on lengthening my stride with gravity on my side. I slowed down to a walk, hit my timer, checked my heart rate.

Good numbers - a bit of confidence restored.

Next weekend: kick it up to 6 miles on the long run.

Spoiled!

It's getting colder these days. I really shouldn't be surprised, after all, it is November. Living in California, though, I must admit to being thoroughly spoiled. As one of my running buddies said to me today "I hear there are other seasons but I haven't really experienced them except on vacation."

Today started out chilly, misty, foggy and gray. It did not bode well for the rest of the day. Out came my trenchcoat from the closet. The air was heavy with moisture as I drove to the office, but it didn't rain. I sat down at my desk and quickly got absorbed in work.

When I came up for air and looked away from my computer and out the window, the sky was blue and the sun was shining. It was absolutely perfect weather for a run. Sunny but not hot, breezy but not cold.

Not bad for a November day.

Focus on the Elbow

During Tuesday's class with Doran Sensei, we spent the whole time on aihanmi katatedori ikkyo. Here's what I came away with:

1. Don't focus on the wrist that is being grabbed.
2. Focus on dropping your elbow, not lifting your hand.
3. Get off the line of attack.
4. Blend!
5. Don't try to yank your partner around. Redirect.
6. Use your whole body, not just your arms.
7. Move from your center.

Why do almost all these things sound so familiar? Because I hear them all the time. It is sinking in. Come to think of it, many of these things apply off the mat as well.

Aikido is a way of life.

The Letter of the Day is F

F is for

• Flu shot: This morning, we drove out to the clinic to get our annual flu shot. P is pretty stalwart about getting a vaccination but D, my sweet, sensitive D, is beset by a deep...
  


• Fear of anything remotely resembling pain. So there we were, in the room where all the nurses were set up, and D just tried to shrink into invisibility. Clutching his little stuffed puppy, which I thought might give him some sense of security, he looked at me with this really scared expression on his face and tears started to roll down his cheeks. What kind of a heartless mommy am I? Sigh. The kind that doesn't want her kid to get the flu. So I sat down with him in my lap, while two nurses helped to hold him still and a third one administered the shot. It was over in an instant.
  


• Feast, which was our breakfast after the clinic outing. We went to The Original Pancake House (not the original one, of course, since we didn't go drive to Oregon) and got a ridiculous amount of food for ourselves. Most of mine came home with me. See the Apple Pancake on their website? That's what I had. Mmmmm, I'm thinking of it right now. Good thing I've brushed my teeth already or else I'd have dropped this laptop and headed straight to the fridge for a little snack about two minutes ago.
  


• Fence: 'Tis finally finished. A weekend project that stretched well over a month because of (a) industrious little boys 'helping', (b) M getting sick, and (c) me being at a conference last weekend has been completed! Hurrah! It is a sturdy fence and, if the Big One does hit, it will definitely still be standing.
  


• Football: Was there a big game on this afternoon? He, he, he. Yes, we did catch some of it and it was good. However, I didn't see all of it because I was busy feeling...



• Fast. The last time I had timed myself on a 2.5 mi run, I did it in 23 minutes and I really was pushing it. Today, I set out with the good intentions of running 5 mi but just couldn't go through with it and fell back into my old, familiar 2.5 mi loop. Felt slow and then the music picked up and so did I. 23:33 with a brief stop to retie my shoelaces. Didn't feel like I had gone all out though.



• Finished.
  

Halloween Aftershocks

Left-over candies and chocolates that lie in wait for me in the cupboard, tempting me to eat them.

Two little boys who can't wait to go trick-or-treating again, today.

Two very well worn costumes - Buzz Lightyear and Woody.

One carved pumpkin, carved in record time.

One bowlful of drying pumpkin seeds, will they ever get roasted?

Two sparkly orange pencils. (Pencils! Who gives out pencils?)

Left-over candies and chocolates that lie in wait for me in the cupboard, tempting me to eat them.

Get behind me, candies!

Turn Back The Clock

I don't like the daylight hours shrinking. Where I grew up, the hours of daylight are pretty much constant throughout the year. You can count to the sun coming up at around 6 am and setting at around 5:45 pm - every single day of the year. On Sunday morning, we'll turn back the clocks here in the US and it will start getting dark at just after 5 pm.

Yuck.

I don't like picking up the kids in the dark.

Could be worse, I suppose.

Could be raining.