Musings on Clothes, Dirty and Clean

It's strange how there's a certain peace in folding laundry. In finding the partner for a sock and stacking the folded shirts in a pile. I figure I must do about 6 loads of laundry a week, more if it's time to do the sheets and towels. Dirty clothes in, clean clothes out. They don't fold themselves. They don't go back to their closets and drawers by themselves.

Whoever said that there's nothing certain in life but death and taxes left out laundry.

No sooner do I empty the hampers are they filled again.

Yet, I don't really mind doing the wash. Thank goodness for the washer. I'm sure I'd have a much different attitude if I had to do stuff by hand. In my life, if it can't survive the washer, it does not deserve to be worn. Also, ironing is a VERY SPECIAL OCCASION ONLY deal. Sometimes I wonder if people look at M's pants sometimes and wonder, "How can his wife let him leave the house in those?" Little do they know that 'his wife' hung them up on the hanger in that condition, ready to do.

I guess I have this false hope that hanging will help straighten out the worst of the wrinkles.

I sit here typing, glancing over to my mountain of folded clothes and at the basket of whites staring me in the face. Lots of socks need homes.

Time to go find them.

Yes, I know. 'She finally decides to blog again and it's about LAUNDRY?' What can I say? The muse came upon me and I had to sit down and go with the flow.

Grateful

For family and friends, near and far.

For little boys who are growing up so quickly.

For a home full of love and laughter (and tears and shouting) and hugs and kisses (and bandaids and icepacks).

For love, and life.

For a chance, with each new day, to be grateful all over again.

A Rude Awakening

This morning, I was the next to the last person picked from the audience to be a contestant on 'Jeopardy!'.

I was so excited. I made my way down the aisles and up the stage. I took my place behind the podium. I was ready to go.

And then P woke me up.

Dang it! I could have won MEGA BUCKS!!!

I am Full

As I sat watching the television last night, immersed in Obama's speech, I was full.

My glass was full of champagne.

My eyes were full of tears and then they overflowed.

My heart was full of pride.

As I looked at my children, watching with me, my whole being was full of love and hope.

Two Down

Same course as last year but it seems like there are many, many more participants. Checking the results afterward showed that there were almost twice the total number of women who completed the race this year.

Pre-race: This year, I've convinced a friend from work to do the triathlon with me. D and I arrive at the site at 6:45 am. D's wave starts at 8:10, mine at 8:15. We find a decent spot in the transition area although it's apparent that we've missed all the really good ones near the exit. So many people! We get our chips and our bodies marked.

8:10 : D is off! Woo! Woo!

8:12 : Getting ready to start. Step in water. Er, sludge. No seriously, the shore was black and very goopy. Think wet, think slimy. The water was opaque. Look to right, look to left. Everyone else's face is slightly disgusted. I'm going swimming in this? Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!

8:15 SWIM START : Yes! I'm going swimming in this. Here we go. Goggles on. Goggles fill with water. I'm getting kicked, there are people all around. (Hindsight: My wave was the largest of the race. 174 women. Last year, the field was 78.) I come up for air and swallow water. Don't think about what's in the water! Keep moving. Try to clear goggles while swimming. FAT CHANCE. Getting run into from behind. Argh! All that nice freestyle practice? Fuggedaboutit! About the only thing I can do is breaststroke otherwise I'm running into people and have no idea which direction I'm headed. Must keep going. A couple times I catch a break and do a few strokes of crawl then it's back to breaststroke again. I'm breathing really hard. Much harder than I should be. I try to calm down and keep moving. As I make the second turn and head for the shore, the field suddenly seems to clear up and I don't have anyone in front of me. I freestyle towards the shore, pop out of the water, rip off my goggles and fill my cap with water. I also notice that my watch has lost its waterproof-ness and is now history. I'm a little bummed but I must focus. Now, where was that bike again? Second picnic table, turn right, two rows behind the three mylar balloons. (Apparently, one of our friends who came to watch saw me come out of the water and was screaming my name and shouting encouragement. I didn't hear a thing. Was totally in the zone. Must find bike.)

T1: Take my swim cap of water and empty it into my little plastic bin. Step into bin and rinse off my feet. Feel extremely pleased with my resourcefulness as my feet are now clean(er) and not sandy anymore. OK. Shirt. Check. Shorts. Check. Socks. Check. Shoes. Spray on sunscreen. Little bit of energy gel. Drink too. Get on bike. Get going!

Bike: AWESOME! I love the bike ride this year. I felt strong and steady. I feel like I could ride on and on and on. My little bike computer tells me I'm going at a pretty good clip. I think I have a chance of lowering my time from last year.

T2: Ripped through this one. Dropped off bike. Dropped helmet. Grabbed hat. One sip. Go!

Run: Argh. Not an auspicious start. There was water to be had right away but after I take a drink, it goes down the wrong tube. I try not to choke and keel over. It was only 3 miles but it felt long, long, long. When the final stretch was in sight, I couldn't wait to cross the finish line. Time to lengthen strides. Look for boys. Then two women come blowing by me as they sprinted to the end. Oh well. Maybe next year that will be me.

Cause there will be a next year.

Final time: Three minutes faster than last year. Yipee!

Triathlon, Saturday

Gulp.

It's two days away. No, less than two days. In less than 32 hours, I'll be getting up and packing up the car to head to the race site.

I've been training, but not as hard as last year. Surprisingly, I'm not freaked out about the swim (400 yds), I'm looking forward to the bike (11 mi) but I'm slightly worried by the run (3 mi). Why is that? I've spent the most time running, I've been swimming just once a week and I've been biking maybe a total of 6 miles per week. I don't feel as strong running this year. Maybe it's because I'm not also getting ready for a half marathon so I haven't been doing any long runs. My max has been three miles at a time.

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

Ready or not, here I come.

School Talk

Last night, just before I turned out the lights in the boys' room, D asks me a question. He's in third grade this year.

"Mama, is today the 9-1-1 day?"

I think to myself, "9-1-1? Oh, 9/11."

"Yes, today is 9/11."

"Mama, a long time ago that's when the planes crashed into the building."

---pause---

"Yes, sweetie, that's what happened."

A long time ago.

Seven years ago. D was just over a year old and we were living in Philly. A lifetime ago for him but just a moment ago in my memory.

We remember.

Dropping a Ball

Blogging has fallen by the wayside a bit. Between work, kids and exercise, something had to give and blogging has been it. Combine that with a decided lack of inspiration of things to blog about and you've got a precipitous drop in posting.

Every so often, I'll have an idea and a half-formed post in my mind but it seems to evaporate in the night and lose out to the siren call of my bedtime.

I've got to get my blogging mojo back. When it returns, the posts shall too.

In the meantime, I'm working and running and swimming and biking and practicing aikido and cooking and chasing after my three guys. Life is good.

"grass smell pool"

If you add the word 'rotting' to the other three words in this post's title, you'll have the combination that I was googling late this afternoon.

"Why?," you might ask.

Let's just say that we (i.e. M) emptied out the pool in our backyard. As he slowly removed the vinyl from the spot it had occupied for most of the summer, a smell attacked our senses. Ah, it brought back memories of visits to the country. Yes, our backyard smells just like a cow pasture. Lovely.

We are hoping for a dry, hot week and that the neighbors don't sic the HOA on us.

When I Grow Up...

P: "I want to be a praying mantis. No, wait. I want to be a beetle-hunting wasp."

What do you want to be?

Aikido Fun

Though I haven't been blogging about aikido much lately, I have been in class twice a week, practicing, practicing, practicing. What's great about class is that it's familiar and yet new every time. We could be doing the same technique over and over again but there's always something different to focus on - where the feet go, how you move your arms, how you move your center, how you move your uke's center. Then there's the uke role itself- practicing rolls and falls. I'm trying to round out my corners. I still hear way too much thunk when I hit the mat and marvel at how others can almost float above it. More time is needed. I've got that.

Today's class ended with each person getting six consecutive katate tori (same side wrist grab) attacks. The response could be anything that came to mind (or body, as the case may be). I don't quite know what's going to come out when I'm up as nage so this type of training both thrills and scares me.

But it is always, always a heck of a lot of fun.

The Dreams of a Preschooler

Here's a snippet of P's conversation with me the other morning. He wandered into our bedroom, hopped into bed and without further preamble, told me this:

P: When you lose, you don't cry.

Me: Yes, sweetheart, that's right.

P: Somebody has to win and somebody has to lose.

Me: Right again.

...pause...

P: Do you want to sing the ABC song with me?

I wonder what he was dreaming about.

Ride Like the Wind, Bullseye!

Remember that ambitious training plan where I was doing something every day of the week? Well, two weeks later, I've mostly stuck to the plan.

Last Friday was my first venture back into the 50 m pool. I need to work my way up to swimming 400 yards continuously and it's a lot easier to do that in the bigger pool. There's nowhere to stop in the lake and hold on to the side. Last year, I had trained to swim 400 yds freestyle straight but, when the actual day of the race came, I found myself breaststroking for about half the distance. Even though I had been in the lake before, being in the lake with 50 other women all swimming in roughly the same direction at the same time was very different and disconcerting. My goal this year will be to minimize the amount of breaststroke that I do and maximize the freestyle. Oh, and not lose my goggles and not swallow too much lake water.

Last Sunday was my first 'long' ride of the year - 11.3 miles. That's about the distance of the triathlon bike leg. It was wicked windy for more than half the ride. I swear I was in my lowest gears and was still moving at a snail's pace. Still, I stuck it out by looking for a landmark that wasn't too far off and saying to myself, "Just a little bit further, just to that post/tree/hole/turn." It felt really awesome to finally turn and have the wind at my back.

As for running, I tried my first interval workout the Sunday before last - running a minute and then walking a minute. This actually pushed my total running time down. Will try this again this week.

At the end of the week, I'm off to the East Coast for five days to attend a conference. In addition to all my work stuff, I'll bring my running shoes and my gi. Training doesn't stop just because I'm traveling.

The Best Present Ever

It was my birthday last week and though I received a bunch of very sweet presents from my boys and my friends, the best one was something that cannot be bought - the news that my aunt's cancer therapy is working! After 10 weeks of treatment, the chemotherapy and radiation treatment are starting have an effect on those tenacious cancer cells. Her birthday email sounded happy and upbeat and POSITIVE. My spirits were lifted and I felt so happy.

Now I know that this doesn't herald a cure but it does buy her some more precious time - to spend with her loved ones, to enjoy the peacefulness of her and my uncle's little cottage outside of the city, to smell the flowers, to write email, to be a part of all of our lives and for us to be a part of hers.

Vacation is Over

Tomorrow it's back to work, back to reality, back to exercise! I've decided that this year's challenge will be to beat the time that I posted in last year's sprint triathlon. I've convinced one of my new colleagues at work to do the triathlon with me and we're going to train together which is absolutely awesome.

This means, of course, that I need to step up my training and start swimming and biking again. Right now, I've been running 2-3 times a week at a fairly leisurely pace and a fairly short distance and going to aikido class twice a week. I'm back to swimming laps once a week. Yesterday, I finally wired up my bike computer (which I've had for five months!) to my road bike and went out for a six mile ride. Got to start slowly.

My training schedule, leading up to race day will look something like this:

Monday: run
Tuesday: aikido
Wednesday: run
Thursday: aikido
Friday: swim
Saturday: run
Sunday: bike

Hang on, when do I rest?

Cousin Camp

Eight kids between the ages of eight and four. Three mommies between the ages of, well, let's skip that bit. :) Four summer days. What did we get up to?

Monday: Fun with Boxes Day! Who knew how much fun could be had with some moving boxes, a little bit of string, some masking tape and an adult wielding a box cutter? Just add creativity and you have some houses (with attics and garages), a tunnel and a pulley system for relaying messages.


Tuesday: Water Day! We've still got our 10-ft diameter pool up in the back yard and it was put to fine use as the eight kids were in and out of the water over the course of several hours. First, the splashers, then the non-splashers, repeat.

Wednesday: Field Trip to Coyote Point Museum. Admission was free as it is every first Wednesday of the month. The kids had a great time running around the exhibits, playing with all the hands-on projects, running around the exhibits, reading about spiders and hawks and snakes, did I mention running around the exhibits? Then we spent another couple of hours at the most awesome playground that the kids have ever laid eyes upon.

Thursday: Crafts Day! We made Cousin Camp shirts and decorated visors and flags. The mommies has as much fun as the kids with all the paint and glue and decorations.

I had a wonderful time with the kids and with my two mommy partners-in-crime. The shirts we made today for ourselves say STAFF on the back. That's us.

The best parts of the camp were seeing all of the children having so much fun with each other and becoming better friends in the process. There was very little conflict, only minor scrapes and bumps and not a single second of TV watched during the entire time. Truly amazing!

I hope we do this again next year. I really do.

Time Out

I'm having a 'staycation.' At least that's what the folks at P's daycare are telling me. I'm taking the week off and have pulled both kids out of day camp and day care, we're not getting on a plane or a long drive anywhere, and we are going to have a blast! We're having 'cousin camp'! I'm very excited.

Today, we are driving over to my brother and sister-in-law's house and will be playing with their three kids and with her sister's three kids as well. That makes, count them, EIGHT children under the age of nine under one roof. Or rather, in the garden, in the park, up and down the stairs and everywhere! Us mommies will be hanging out while the kids have a blast, hopefully only having to act as occasional referees and band-aid appliers.

Tomorrow, everyone comes to our house. On Wednesday, we go on a field trip. Thursday, it's off to the third house and on Friday it's back to my brother's for a housewarming/birthday/Fourth of July party. How fun! Especially since all the hubbies have Friday off from work too. I really love having my family close by.

Birthday Wishes

Today was D's 8th birthday party. We lit the candles on his cake, sang the song and, then, uttered those familiar words, "Make a wish!"

I wonder what he wished for. The answer probably revolves around a Nintendo DS*. But I got to thinking about wishes and how, sometimes, we wish for the moon, knowing that we will most likely not get what we want but we wish anyway, just in case.

What would I want? I do believe that it would be a teleportation device, so that I could see the people that I love that live so very far away, whenever I wanted to. Wouldn't that be awesome?

I don't know if this will ever exist outside of science fiction. I'll keep wishing anyway, just in case.

*The DS? We've struck a deal with D. If he can earn half of the money needed to pay for a new one, we'll come up with the second half.

Made it!

It was a long weekend but I made it through. With the help of a superbly timed birthday party and a visit to my brother's new house (He's HERE! His whole family is finally here!), Saturday and Sunday went by without my going bonkers or passing out from exhaustion. I must say that I really do appreciate being healthy when something like the common cold knocks me down. I'm so grateful that I am recovered and that it didn't have me down for long. Makes me think of those illnesses where you get sick and you stay sick. It's very sobering.

M is back, D is done with second grade, P has moved up into the next room at his daycare (making this his SIXTH classroom there!) and we have 10 weeks of summer vacation in front of us.

Yay!

Who's That Whining?

Oh wait, it's me.

M is off to Virginia for five days to represent the four of us at our niece's high school graduation. It's great because it's a wonderful celebration and a happy reunion time for the three brothers.

However...

I have a cold. Yes, a standard head cold. Yes, the kind I've had before and will no doubt have again. The kind that saps your strength and leaves your nose red and chapped, your throat scratchy, your lips dry and your head feeling like it's been hit with a three pound hammer.

I want *my* mommy.

It is now 5:38 pm and I am counting down the minutes until bedtime when I can get the boys into bed, take a dose of NyQuil and go to sleep. But first I have to rustle up some dinner.

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Definitely Not Ready for the Home Gardening Network

Sometimes, I fancy myself a gardener. I love planting flowers in the garden, seeing how they brighten up the planters and the view.

Sometimes, I realize that I really don't know what on earth I'm doing.

Yesterday afternoon, M had turned over the little patch of earth right in front of our house, making it ready for me to put in the petunias and diathus that I'd picked up at the store. Now you'll need to know that our earth is pretty much 100% clay - NOT well-draining, hard as a rock when dry.

I must amend this soil. I will add some of the Soil Buster that we've got in the shed and that will help make it better draining.

So, I mixed in what I thought was an appropriate amount and started turning the mix with the shovel. This led to the inevitable clouds of dust in the air.

Too dusty. Let's add some water so that I don't inhale all this stuff.

Luckily, I had P to help me out. He held the hose and I mixed. He added water and more water and more water. And the water was not draining. So I turned off the flow and kept on mixing. And pretty soon, I had a nice slurry that was the consistency and color of...CONCRETE!!!!

Yipes! What was I doing? Constructing the next Hollywood Walk of Fame? All it needed was some smoothing over and it would be ready for my foot and handprints.

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPP!

Husband to the rescue. First, the "I-can't-believe-what-you-just-did" look, then the grin, then he got out a little board and actually smoothed it over, saying, "This should be cured by tomorrow morning." Very funny.

And then he actually helped and poured in half a giant bag of garden soil, handed me the shovel with some words of encouragement and headed back inside. I tried to blend it all together and then dug some holes for the plants. P stuffed them in, I covered them up and watered them and crossed my fingers.

They're either going to grow or not. If they don't, I'll assume that they're all wearing concrete boots. For now, they still look quite pretty.

My Kids Crack Me Up

I've been meaning to write these down before they slip my memory.

"Mama, what are eyebrows for? They're hairy."

"Do mosquitoes bite ducks?"

Also, have I mentioned their obsession with the word 'b*tt'? Yes, it's quite delightful.

Sigh.

The boys are quite inventive. This has led to improvisation on songs that we know and love. We now hear:

Mary Had A Little B*tt
Baa, Baa B*tt Cheek

Who's that Star Wars character that's the son of Darth Vader?

You got it: Luke B*ttwalker.

Somebody save me from 4 and 8 year old boys!

26:17.01

It's not my fastest time, it's not my slowest. But it was today's time for my usual 2.5 mile loop and it felt GREAT!

The wind was in my face.
The sun was on my shoulders.
The blue sky was above my head.
Music was in my ears.
My knees felt great.
My breathing was easy.
I had the rhythm and I could have kept going, and going, and going.

This is why I run.

Hope

Sometimes I seek inspiration in words and tonight I sought it in a poem. I found Emily Dickinson and I'll link to the Poetry Foundation site because I don't want to be violating any copyright laws:

"Hope" is the thing with feathers-

So Far Away

What do you do when you're far away from people that you love and they're hurt?
Or sick?
How do you hug long-distance?
How do you hold a hand?
How do you share a cry?

One of my dad's sisters has cancer and it has come out of remission.

What do I do? What do I do?

I pick up the phone and call because it's all I can do right now.

What else? What do I do?

Packing and Other Lists

Leave at home:

1. DVD player
2. iPod
3. computer
4. work
5. tent (we're staying in a tent cabin, after all)

Bring for sure:

1. camera
2. underwear and socks
3. sleeping bags
4. fleeces and rainshells
5. sunblock
6. water bottles
7. first aid kit
8. kids
9. snacks
10. caps

Not really looking forward to:

1. "Are we there yet?"
2. "He's touching me!"
3. "Well, he touched me first!"
4. "I need to go potty." (at the most inopportune moment)

Looking forward to:

1. hiking
2. stargazing
3. seeing Half Dome, El Capitan and Yosemite Falls
4. first 'camping' trip with our little boys

Going to Yosemite!

Guess what? For Mother's Day and our wedding anniversary, my family is headed to Yosemite National Park to celebrate. Yippee! I've been wanting to go to Yosemite for ages now. Imagine, I've lived in the Bay Area for six years now and still haven't made it out there.

I've heard others rave about the beauty in the mountains, the hikes, the majesty of the peaks and the peacefulness in the views. Now we're going to see them for ourselves. I hope the kids appreciate it, I know that I will.

Just Call Him 60 Cent

Sunday afternoon drama in our house:

I'm in the bathroom and hear a commotion outside. I come out to see D in tears, M looking really concerned and P choking, trying to stick his fingers in his mouth to make himself throw up. I hear M curse and I spring into action, pick up my little boy, turn him upside down and whack him in the middle of his back, hard. Ching, ching, ching. What comes out?

Two quarters and a dime.

Good Lord! We could have lost my little boy. Then I held him while he cried and coughed and then proceeded to throw up on my shoulder. But he's alive, so all is ok. He's alive and all is ok. Turns out that Big Brother PUT the coins in Little Brother's mouth. Why? Heaven knows. They do know that they're NEVER, NEVER to do that again. Scary. Very scary.

But he's alive, so all is ok.

Gap

Gosh, has it really been three weeks since I last blogged? Time flies.

Getting ready for work trip and presentation.
Interviewing and hiring new colleague.
Sorting out D's summer camp for all 10 weeks of summer.
Work trip and presentation.
Visiting and training at an aikido dojo while on the road (!).
Breaking cooktop on stove and having to order a new one.
Coming home to my three guys and getting right back into the routine.
Running, on the road and back at home.
Getting unexpectedly high credit card bill and realizing that last month's bill went missing and therefore it's now two months worth of charges and ...

Today I get to go back to my regular aikido class.

Keep It Simple

Doran Sensei's class this week focused on kata dori nikyo, breaking it down into all the little pieces that go into the technique. Stepping off the line of attack, atemi to the face, drawing out the arm on the grabbed side, lowering your center, scooping in, taking the elbow, going for the third point to take uke's center.

It's a lot to remember. Where do my feet go? Where do my hands go? How do I not get clocked by uke?

Then he summed it up in two steps:

1. Take uke's balance.
2. Take uke's balance.

And, when in doubt, refer to step 3:

Don't lose your own balance.

Just.Keep.Breathing

Sometimes my kids drive me absolutely crazy. Tonight was one of those nights. How hard can it be to write a five sentence paragraph? Apparently, it's harder than figuring out a solution to the Iraq problem.

I tried to be calm. I tried to be rational. I tried to reason with D.

But I failed. I lost my temper.

Argh.

Giving In

This afternoon, I thought it would be a brilliant idea if I headed out and took a nice bike ride. The weather was beautiful. I hadn't been out on my road bike since late November last year and it was high time that I got back in the saddle. The boys were set. M was busy in the garden planting tomatoes with little P as his trusty assistant. D was watching the As play the Giants in a pre-season game.

I pumped up the depleted tires and headed out. Crunch. Not the sound I was hoping to hear. The gears were grinding a bit after the almost four months of disuse. I hoped that riding would work the kinks out and I was right.

Then, I ran right into It - The Headwind that Would Not Die. Pedal, pedal, pedal. Say, was that three feet I just moved forward? Pedal, pedal, pedal. Still not moving very far. Pedal, pedal, pedal. Say, this isn't very much fun. I'm struggling against the elements, my ears are getting cold, I can't really appreciate the scenery because I'm trying too hard to get moving.

"Quit whining." I thought to myself, "Keep going."

Two seconds later...

"Hang on. I came out to have fun. If I'm not enjoying myself, why am I still out here?"

So I turned around and coasted back home with the wind at my back.

Sometimes, you just need to give in, quit swimming against the stream and go with the flow.

Earth Hour

What would you do with one hour without power? When we broached this idea to the kids tonight, they looked at us with a bit of disbelief in their eyes. No electricity? Why would anyone want that?

Had you heard about Earth Hour? It was created by the WWF in Australia in 2007. We read about it in the paper this morning and thought, "Why not?"

M threw the main switch at 8 pm and our meter ground to a halt. Not a single watt was being consumed. We got candles out. The kids brushed their teeth and their bedtime story was read by candlelight. They were a little worried but when they realized that having a candle in the bathroom instead of their nightlight didn't make a difference, they settled down. I didn't blog. Not even on the spare battery power on my computer and surfing off the neighbor's network.

It was nice. No distractions.

The lights came back on. The boys are deep asleep. I'm blogging and the TV is on. A sacrifice? I don't think so. Maybe this will become a Saturday night tradition. Maybe we'll even stretch it to two or more.

Every little bit counts, right?

First Swim of 2008

I finally did it. Got back in the pool and did some laps today. I'm not sure what the distance was but I was in the water for about 20 minutes. That's all I had in me, not too tired, just right. I took my time, back and forth, back and forth. It felt good. The water was nice and warm even if the wind was blowing outside. Yes, this is an outdoor pool. Yes, I'm so glad I live in California.

I'd forgotten how calming it is to swim. Time to focus on my breathing, on the stroke, on the kick. Time to feel the water flowing around.

Time to start training for another triathlon? I don't know. But it sure is nice to be swimming again.

Ukemi

The art of falling.

The art of blending with your partner's defensive technique and minimizing the impact on your own body. Done well, it is truly a thing of beauty. Soft falls, smooth falls, gorgeous rolls. No pain, just absorption and distribution of impact. Very, very cool. The best ones make it look so easy and effortless.

But it's not. It's different with every partner because every person is different in how they give and receive energy. After a while, you learn your classmates' patterns, their styles, their aikido, and you blend accordingly. I might go in harder with one person that I trust to throw me cleanly and softer with others.

So, I practice and I practice and I'll practice some more. Someday, I'll get there.

And then I'll practice some more.

Broken Record

Do your homework.

Clean up your toys.

Brush your teeth.

Get dressed.

Lift the seat.

Flush.

Wash hands.

How do you ask nicely?

Put on your shoes.

Where's your (backpack/jacket/homework/library book/underwear)?

Don't hit your brother.

I love you, too.

I'll always love you.

What Have I Read Lately

In the past few months, I've been blogging less and reading more. What a treat. I love to read.

Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows
Five Patients
Absolute Friends
Dos and Don'ts in the Philippines
A Painted House
The Beekeeper's Apprentice
White Elephants
An Excellent Mystery
The Thirteenth Tale
Snow Falling on Cedars
Memoirs of a Geisha
Everything is Miscellaneous

Currently: The Princess Bride
Next: Empire of the Sun

While all of these books were entertaining and interesting for various reasons, the one book that you MUST read is The Thirteenth Tale. Just go out and buy it or borrow it. Go. Now.

Ahhhhh, A Nice Longer Run

I haven't been running that much lately. I mean, I still run three times a week, but I haven't been running very far. Mostly 2.5 to 3.5 miles at a shot. On Wednesday, T and I ran the Dish. Or maybe I should say that he ran the dish and I ran/walked it. Those hills! Oh! Those inclines! I'm pretty sure that's about a 4.5 to 5 mile round trip.

Today, I thought I'd go out for a continuous longer flat run. Right along my usual weekend path from days of yore, along the creek and into the regional park nearby. I decided I'd go for 40 minutes and try not to stop running - 20 minutes out and then 20 minutes back.

It went well. The weather was gorgeous - sunny, with a little breeze, temperatures in the low 60s. I figure that I kept about a 10 minute mile pace, maybe 10:30. Definitely not fast but not slow either. I felt good and pushed myself the last quarter mile. My heart rate when I finished was 162.

I'm thinking about running Bay to Breakers again this year. It's the third Sunday in May, which gives me just under two months to get ready. It's doable.

Next week: 45 minutes straight.

Bone-Tired

Ever heard that expression? Yeah, me too. I think I know what it means.

TGIF.

I keep meaning to put up some pictures of the lovely spring that has sprung around here but right now I'm just too darned tired. But I couldn't pass up a chance to post on a 29th of February.

Spring Has Sprung

While some areas of the country are getting buried in snow, right here at home, it is most definitely spring.

My daffodils:



My favorite crocus:



Finally, another sure sign of spring:



I can hang up my clothes to dry again. Whoopee!

In a few weeks, the tree in my front yard will burst into blossoms and I shall take a photo.

Diabolical Plan

My brother and his family are visiting us this weekend. His three kids and our two kids had a 'conference' on Friday night. Today, we found the minutes in the form of a list on a sheet of paper:

1. Trick parents
2. Pooh drop (many times) - I'm really hoping they're referring to Winnie the Pooh
3. gather weapons
4. gather tools

The kids range in age from 8 to 3. Should we be scared yet? :)

A Year of Blogging

There have been slow months and blog-intensive months. Months when I had a lot to say and those where I didn't. Weeks when I wanted to blog and the time just got away from me. Weeks when I couldn't think of two sentences to string together.

Still, I can't believe that it's been a whole year already. Time does fly by.

My First Aikido Seminar

I know, it sounds a little strange: an aikido seminar. No, there are no Powerpoint presentations or chairs in a room. There's usually a visiting instructor, the dojo and a whole bunch of enthusiastic people who take time out of their weekends and cough up some cash to learn something new. Sometimes it's something old that shows up in a new guise or is presented from a different angle.

I had been to a bunch of seminars when I was training in karate and arnis but this was my very first aikido seminar. I was excited. Not to mention the weird coincidence that the visiting Sensei was a high school buddy of one of my good friends - the same one that got me into aikido in the first place.

Basic blending. Keeping the connection. Not being hard but just blending and flowing into a throw. Maybe not always a throw.

It was a great chance to train with a whole new set of people, many of them yudansha (black belt rank). All of them very kind and helpful. A community of learners. I like to learn.

Fend For Yourself

Ever had a dinner that was totally miscellaneous? Well, that's what happened here tonight. I didn't feel like cooking - I can always make that chicken stir fry that was going to happen tonight tomorrow night. We looked in the fridge and decided that we could make do with what was waiting in there.

The result:

M: string cheese, mixed nuts, glass of red wine, leftover pork tenderloin and boiled potatoes
D: left over mac and cheese, pretzels, pear
P: yogurt and Cheerios, milk
me: left over beef lo mein, 8 left over tortellinis, three small slices of three day old bread (toasted, one with butter, one with honey and one with Nutella), milk

Not your Martha Stewart dinner but it was a family dinner that we all enjoyed. That's pretty much all that counts.

Still No Swimming

I haven't been swimming since we got back the the US from our Philippine vacation. After days of swimming either in the ocean or in a nice pool where the outside temperatures were in the 80s, I just haven't been able to bring myself to change into a bathing suit when it's 50 degrees outside.

Brrrrrrrrr.

I keep telling myself, maybe next week.

Maybe I need to find myself a triathlon to train for so that I can force myself to get back in.

Maybe next week.

I am still running though. That counts, doesn't it?

4th Kyu

Want to hear about my test? Funny story. I got to the parking lot, bought the parking ticket, placed it on on the dashboard and then headed to the changing rooms. Then I realized that I'd left the jo in the car. Ran back to the car. I opened the trunk and couldn't get the weapon out. It just wouldn't come out. So there I was thinking:

I got it in, why can't I get it out? Did it expand on a rainy day? What am I going to do if I can't get it out? What if it snaps while I'm trying to get it out?

I'm doomed.

I took a deep breath and tried again - and got it out. I still had to get changed. Undressed. Put on gi bottom. Put on gi top. Realized that I was not wearing a sports bra. Took off gi top lest I really give the testing board something to talk about. Got dressed again and made it to class.

I bowed onto the mat and took a couple of test strikes with the jo. They felt ok. I was about as ready as I was ever going to be.

Four people were testing: Immovable Rock for 5th kyu, me for 4th kyu, Dancer for 3rd kyu and Role Model for 1st kyu. Rock is just that, young fellow, strong, likes to resist. He's fun to throw. Dancer is tiny but she can throw someone twice her size. I love to watch Role Model practice aikido. She's got such beautiful posture and projects calm, strength and confidence when she moves. I want to be like her.

Rock's test was over in about 5 minutes. Yipes. That meant that I was up next.

Did I mention that my uke bailed on me about 5 minutes before the test? Her knee had been feeling wonky and, though she thought she'd be better, she wasn't feeling up to taking ukemi that day. Thank goodness Role Model came to the rescue. Whew.

Suddenly, it was my turn. This is what it was like:

bow in

a bluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrr

bow out

Somewhere in between the bowing, techniques were called out, I did them, I stepped the wrong way, did sitting pins when I should have done standing ones, kiai-ed in the wrong spots, but I didn't lose grip of the jo! I guess I remember all the things I didn't do quite the way I wanted. Tonight, I watched the video from the test and was surprised to see myself looking semi-competent.

80 training days to 3rd kyu. One down today, 79 to go.

Test Tomorrow

The day has finally come. It's time to test for the next rank - 4th kyu. It has been just over a year since my last test and, I must admit, I'm a little bit nervous. I mean, I know the techniques but there's the whole thing about getting up in front of the whole class and having to perform. It's so much easier to blend into a crowd (even when that crowd is just four or five other people). Oh well, ready or not, here I go. I figure, as long as I don't launch the jo into the testing committee, I should be ok.

I hope.

Learning the Alphabet

This morning, P is snuggled up beside me and we're going through the alphabet. I shall transcribe the highlights:

A: apes aim
B: birds poop
C: cats purr
D: dogs bark
E: eagles sweat
F: frogs hop
G: giraffes eat mangoes

He has an imagination, that kid. It's either that or the books they're reading in preschool are more goofy than I anticipated.

Rain Anyone?

Gray, dreary. Who was it who sang "Rainy days and Mondays always get me down"? Oh yeah, Karen Carpenter. She had something there.

It's been raining a lot here in the Bay Area lately. Last Friday it was not just a little drizzle. No, this was solid rain throughout the whole day. Rain across the bridge, rain on my car, on the road, outside my office window, on my face, my clothes, my jacket.

Rain everywhere. Dripping, pouring, spitting. Wet, wet, wet.

If I was in Manila, I'd still be stuck in traffic, with 5 lanes of traffic going in one direction and one going in the other. Water might be up to the middle of my car door and I'd have to keep one foot on the accelerator to keep the exhaust pipe from filling with water. Gutters would be full and overflowing. I'd see trash floating in the streets.

Boy am I glad I'm here where roads drain reasonably well.

We are Such Geeks

I just had the greatest laugh with my brother. We were sitting in the living room, looking at the Ask Marilyn column from last Sunday's Parade magazine. It had a little math problem in it and we both looked at each other with the same thought: "Let's solve it." I grabbed a pen and paper and started talking out loud as I started to work. He quickly got frustrated with me and grabbed his own paper and pen and it was off to the races.

Did I mention that we both used to compete in Math and Science contests in high school? Oh yeah, we were in the elite group that got to travel to other schools for the Nerdy Olympics. He was much better than me but, fortunately, two years younger than me so I never had to compete directly against him. For me, it was really an opportunity to get out of class and meet 'smart boys.' :)

Needless to say, he figured it out way before I did for several reasons:

a. I've forgotten some basic algebra. Whoops. It's all coming back to me now. Really. In my defense, it was five equations in five variables.

b. I was laughing so hard I couldn't concentrate or write. And that's not just an excuse!

Since we'd had so much fun doing that, I pulled out a book that I'd stashed away a long time ago. It had been quietly gathering dust, waiting for just a moment like this. Yes, you got it, a book of brainteasers. We found another algebra word problem and pounced on it. In my eagerness to demonstrate that I can still do it, I went through my solution out loud. By this time, we were both laughing so hard that M stuck his head into the room to check if we were alright.

You've never seen two people have so much fun with math.

Ahhhhhh, the memories that brought back. The good old days.

I love my brother.

The Eternal Question: Why?

My son, P, the philosopher in training:

Why do we have to wear underwear? (while putting on his jammies after bathtime)

Why do you have hair on your arms, Papa? (at the dinner table)

Why, as parents, do we feel compelled to answer these questions?

Why?

Things I Saw Today

1. Steam rising off T's neck after our noontime run. Outside temperatures were in the mid-40s.

2. Clouds sitting on top of the hills, looking like duvets.

3. The blue sky, for just a little while, before it got all gray and dreary again.

4. Smiles - from my boys, my husband, my brother, my colleagues.

5. Chocolate chip cookies - in a container, on top of my fridge.

Guess where I'm headed now.

Unblocked

So I've been hitting the wall in terms of thinking of new things to blog about. Good thing I had the day off today in honor of Martin Luther King, Jr. and that D, my older son, had it off too.

This afternoon, after a morning of me working on the computer and him coloring away in his room and then watching way more TV than I should have let him watch, he looks at me and says, "Mama, I know what we can do and it's not TV or computer games." Then he leaned in close and whispered in my ear, "Let's cook together." Now, do I have a sweetheart on my hands or what?

We had a blast making chocolate chip cookies, measuring out the ingredients, mixing them up and rolling the dough into balls. Savoring the fruits of our labor with a glass of cold milk rounded out the experience. Then he said, "Let's snuggle, Mama."

What self-respecting mommy can say no to that?

I don't know how long he's going to want to snuggle with his mama but I'm going to take advantage of every opportunity he gives me. All too soon, I fear, he'll be pulling away and wanting to go his own way.

As M came home from work, we were rocking out to Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. His request: "You Wreck Me." Atta boy!

Just Keep Breathing

When I started this blog, the title was all about trying to keep going while keeping all the different aspects of my life in line and going forward at the same time. I think the words 'Just keep breathing.' an awful lot - while running, in aikido, in the pool, on my bike, when on the brink of losing my temper with two squabbling kids, when stuck in traffic, you get the idea.

The idea, of course, being that as long as I kept breathing, kept trying to stay calm, stay collected, stay focused, everything else would seem like not such a big deal.

In
and
out.

I still like it. It still applies.

Vacation Musings: At the Beach in Cebu

There's a gentle breeze blowing in my face and the smell of salt, fish and suntan lotion is in the air. I'm at the beach, in the shade of a giant umbrella. I've heard voices from all over the world: American, Australian, German, Chinese, Korean, Japanese. The tide is coming in. The heat is bouncing off the sand. It is mostly quiet and I am relaxing. No kids to worry about. Nice.

The colors around me are brilliant, as if someone has taking a Crayola box and painted the world around me. Bougainvilleas in full bloom are bursting with violet, orange and red. The coconut tree fronds, palms and ferns are a lush, shiny green. The blue of the sky is reflected in my eyes and I feel some people staring - caught by the uncommon hue.

I look at the people around me: white skin burned red, some still frighteningly pale, some tanned a leathery brown, brown skin than tans easily. Sculpted stomachs and flabby ones compete with each other for space on the sand and in the water. One piece bathing suits are losing out to bikinis on the women - regardless of the wearer's shape. I sit here writing and breathing and just relishing the moment.

Vacation Musings: Christmas Mass in Manila

I've entered a time machine and it's called the Christmas Mass in the Philippines. All of a sudden, long dormant habits are awoken as I bathe in the experience. The flick of my wrist as I open and close my fan. The feeling of air blowing on my neck and shoulders as the electric fan swivels back and forth, back and forth, trying to keep the sweat at bay. The words of the hymns and prayers in Tagalog, long unsaid and unsung, spring to my lips. I am home. They feel familiar and strange on my tongue all at the same time. In them, I taste my past, my teenage years.